Eating Disorders

» CirellJ1 - My Friend Has Pushed Me Away...

In response to My Friend Has Pushed Me Away... posted by lorihenry:

over the past few days, we have argued...and through that time,

she has told me things...such as

i am an A**H***

she doesnt deserve anything from me(as of care)

if she gets sick trying to get to her ultimate goal weight...its because of me...

i will be in her mind the whole time she is trying for that weight

she told me she lied to her shrink

she knows i told her parents

she does not believe people when they tell her she is gorgious..."they see what they want...as does she"

she says she will never give in

her problems are her life

they make her who she is

she doesnt want people to know

*she accepts the fact that she struggles with things most people dont*

but says that it will never get in her way...

and if that isnt enough...i read her myspace, and her song has quotes in it...such as...

"Crouched over
You were not there
Living in fear
But signs were not really that scarce
Obvious tears
But I will not
Hide you through this
***I want you to help***
And please see
The bleeding heart perched on my shirt "

"Should I, could I
Change my attempt good intentions
Should I, could I
Should I, could I "

i took a hint, and sent her a message...

i told her i would give her my hand through it all...

and asked her if she would take it..

maybe she will...maybe not...

maybe she is right...maybe i do assume too much...

but im going with my instincts...

***dREams caN comE truE***

-- posted by CirellJ1

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» sharonmoleski - My Friend Has Pushed Me Away...

In response to My Friend Has Pushed Me Away... posted by CirellJ1:

You are a really great friend. Hang in there!

-- posted by sharonmoleski

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» CirellJ1 - My Friend Has Pushed Me Away...

In response to My Friend Has Pushed Me Away... posted by sharonmoleski:

you know...

i try and try and try

i send her a message that i put a lot of thought and care into...

and she just laughes at it...

and and laughes at me...

well..so much for us talking again...

guess ill have to wait another 5 months...

hopefully she doesnt even bother writitng...

it will make it easier to move on...

sorry...i tried my best...thanks everyone for listening

-- posted by CirellJ1

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» Lori Henry - My Friend Has Pushed Me Away...

In response to My Friend Has Pushed Me Away... posted by CirellJ1:

Hey, that's what we're here for!

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» CirellJ1 - My Friend Has Pushed Me Away...

In response to My Friend Has Pushed Me Away... posted by lorihenry:

its just wierd...i was thinking

i wanted for soo long just to talk to her...to try to communicate...and it happened after 5 months...and i couldnt take it

it was like i got my wish, but didnt want it to be like that...

i told her we cant be doing this...(just arguing back and fourth) and how i should have listened to her from the start...when she chose to be silent...

idk...

i showed her a picture of her legs that were all cut up that i got from her myspace...just so she knew, i knew...it seemed to not phase her...

but ohh well...i will try and keep everyone updated...but im doubtful too much will be availible to update...

and right now, that is fine with me

-- posted by CirellJ1

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» CirellJ1 - My Friend Has Pushed Me Away...

In response to My Friend Has Pushed Me Away... posted by CirellJ1:

update...

yeah, we talked tonight for quite a while...

she is still angry...

talking about me opening my big mouth to her parents...

i asked her what she would have done if she were me...and she said she wouldnt have done anything...

i heard from people that she said she hated me...but the funny thing was...she never told me she hated me...just to other people...

so i asked her...

i was like, tell me you hate me...if your gonna tell other people...

but she didnt...
she wouldnt...

instead she kinda dodged it, and said, she didnt care about me...

???

ohh well, tommarow is another day...becasue she hasnt blocked me...

so i guess i just need to try to listen...

but i dont know...that is what she wants right?

someone to listen?

but she would never admit to it...right..

okay...thats all i got tonight..

sweet dreams...

-- posted by CirellJ1

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» Lori Henry - My Friend Has Pushed Me Away...

In response to My Friend Has Pushed Me Away... posted by CirellJ1:

Well, she probably wants you to listen to her, yet is resistant to anyone getting to know her well at all. Most times with eating disorders, the person is feeling 2 opposite things at once and is in a constant push and pull battle. Not a very nice place to be

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» CirellJ1 - My Friend Has Pushed Me Away...

In response to My Friend Has Pushed Me Away... posted by lorihenry:
yep...she says, i thought you had enough self control to not talk to me...she says...here ill make it easy for you and block you...so she blocks me...
later that night, im unblocked???
i dont know what to do...i dont want like say anything, because its like a trap...she gives me no ground to work on...
she makes me feel like when i talk to her, i ruin her day...like, dont talk to me, leave me alone...
like im harrassing her...but im not...right...i just talk to her and ask her questions...she really overreacts....

like i said...its like its a trap...

-- posted by CirellJ1

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» CirellJ1 - My Friend Has Pushed Me Away...

In response to My Friend Has Pushed Me Away... posted by CirellJ1:

well, i finally talked to her in person this past week...

i saw her, and was like...this is it...i just have to make a move...

she was in a bad mood as usual...so we talked...and i just tried to get her to explain her actions towards me...and she basically said she didnt have to...

and she said i didnt understand and...then told me she doenst want me to understand....

i tried to get her to walk with me so we could talk...but she said she had priorities....

so anyway...i got to talk to her...and it was still like she didnt care...

so you know what...

i guess she doenst care...i have to believe her...i have to stop assumeing what she says, and just accept it as the truth...

im thinking about flying to hawaii and living with family members....and workin over there...i want to get away, and start new...

i wanted to talk to her in person, and i finally got my wish...

so now i can take the next step in my life...

-- posted by CirellJ1

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» Lori Henry - My Friend Has Pushed Me Away...

In response to My Friend Has Pushed Me Away... posted by CirellJ1:

Maybe it's for the best. It sounds like you need to regroup and get your own stuff sorted out. There's nothing wrong with that. Keep us in the loop,
Lori

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