Parents Coping With Eating Disorders
Maintaining Strength in the Midst of Adversity, Support for Parents
Feb 17, 2009
Parents and siblings need to uphold their own equilibrium when coping with an eating disorder. This psychological condition will inflict hurt, frustration and a myriad of different anxieties. If parents create a toolbox of coping skills, confusion and exasperation can be minimized.
Tips for Parents
If unsure as to where to begin, perhaps the point of entry would be the family physician or local treatment provider. These individuals would know of attainable resources and community support groups, if they exist.
Parents must work together as a team, then the stress/burden of the eating disorder will not fall upon only one set of shoulders. It is pertinent that the parents yoke together and share the load. If not, one parent will, unknowingly or innocently sabotage the efforts of the participating parent as well as the treatment team. Thus, the stress everyone is shouldering dramatically increases as well as lengthening the time it will take for treatment to have an impact upon the eating disorder sufferer.
It is important to realize that the eating disorder by its own nature will seek to divide parents and the family unit. If this occurs, then the eating disorder has the upper hand - this is not a desired dynamic.
If there is just a single parent, soliciting help from other supportive family members would be advisable.
Parents should educate themselves regarding the dynamics of an eating disorder. Book stores as well as the community and college libraries carry resources.
What if One Parent is in Denial?
If one parent is not accepting or even willing to acknowledge something is wrong, all of the burden falls upon the other parent. Here are a few tips:
- Invite the dissenting parent to have an open mind;
- Encourage the resisting parent to read about the condition;
- Enlist the help of supportive extended family members;
- Encourage the reluctant parent to talk to the treatment team or treatment professionals; and,
- Invite the treatment team to offer suggestions.
Encouragement for Parents
Know that many more recover from eating disorders than do not. There is no hard and fast rule clarifying who will and who won't recover, however, early treatment and intervention can help move the odds into the favor of recovery.
Siblings
Siblings within the family can get lost. It is exceedingly important not to forget them. The eating disorder will, by its nature, become the center of attention within the family unit.
It is also important not to transfer parental roles onto the non-affected siblings. They have enough to shoulder. For support and suggestions on how to rearrange priorities and responsibilities, parents could seek help by attending therapy sessions and support groups. Siblings would also benefit by attending therapy and support groups.
What Else Can Parents Do?
Teenagers may not readily talk about what's going on, but fostering an atmosphere where talk is allowed and valued can help the recovering person know, he or she is not fighting alone. Realize, too, that teenagers want to become independent, so they may not readily accept parental help, but would certainly appreciate support.
Finally, don't let guilt take hold. Feeling guilt is normal as a parent. Instead, focus energies upon recovery.
Other articles relevant to this topic are:
Stages of Change and Eating Disorders
Sources
Parents of Eating Disordered Children
Tips for Parents Coping With Eating Disorders
Deborah K. Katzman, M.D.,FRCP(C), Leora Pinhas, M.D., FRCP(C),Help fpr Eating Disorders A Parents' Guide to Symptoms, Causes and Treatments, Robert Rose, Inc., 120 Eglinton Ave. E., Suite 800, Toronto, Ontario, Canada, M4P 1E2., no date of publication. pgs. 230-255.
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