Interview With Andrea Roe, Recovery is Possible
Daring to Heal From Eating Disorders, Facing the Truth, Letting Go
Aug 20, 2009
Andrea Roe talks candidly about her struggles with disordered eating. May the reader find hope.
Q. Describe your eating disorders. How do you think they began?
A. I was a shy child. I didn't stand up for myself. Simply put, I didn't have much self-esteem. I actually don't know why but I never felt good or pretty enough. I was a "people pleaser" and wanted everybody to like me. As a result of my low self-esteem and constant self doubt, during puberty I developed body image issues and depression which eventually turned into an eating disorder. I thought that maybe with changing the way I look (as in losing a few pounds) people would like me more... I thought maybe I would like myself more.
Q. What were/are your eating disorders?
A. I struggled with anorexia for about two years and with bulimia for about four.
Q. Did you know you had eating disorders?
A. While I had anorexia, I didn't know I had an eating disorder. No one around me noticed it either. That is the sad thing about eating disorders that they can be hidden so well. I was in denial. I thought that what I was doing was normal.
Q. How did you come to be aware that eating disorders existed?
A. I wasn't really educated about eating disorders. I didn't really know what they were. I didn't learn about them in school. I thought one had to be either super skinny or really heavy in order to have an eating disorder, but I was neither. My weight was always somewhere in the normal healthy weight range. The truth is that most people who struggle with an eating disorder are in the normal healthy weight range.... it is very difficult to tell whether someone has an eating disorder or not. They are very easy to hide. That is one of the dangerous things about eating disorders that they can be hidden so well, and for a long time as well.
When my anorexia turned to bulimia and I started binge eating, that's when I hit the point where I could not deny my problem any longer and I was finally able to admit to myself that what I was doing was not healthy and that I needed help to stop this behavior. But I did not know what to do or where to start with my recovery. I felt lost and confused and thought I was the only one who had this problem.
I began to search the internet for answers and that's when I found out that what I had actually had a name... "Anorexia" and "Bulimia".
I started reading books about eating disorders and found them to be very interesting and also comforting. I felt like I was NOT alone and that it was possible to get healthy.
Q. What brought you into recovery?
A. I wanted to be healthy again for a long time but didn't really know what to do. I tried numerous times to recover but it didn't work. Even though I had read that recovery does exist, I didn't really believe it was possible for me. I was sure I was the exception to the rule and recovery was not possible for me.
My turning point was when I met my husband. He believed in me no matter what. His love and support were what I needed to find the strength in me to beat this disorder. He was always there for me and never judged me. I felt that with his help, recovery was possible, even for me.
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