Anytime an uncomfortable subject needs to be discussed, there are risks involved. The identified person may or may not be receptive or open to listen to the information. The underlying key to to promote the chances of success, is to present the information within a non-judgmental context. Know that the identified person's defense mechanisms will kick into gear the moment the subject is presented.
Whatever the outcome:
This episode is not about the presenter(s), do not personalize the responses of the alleged eating disorder sufferer; and
Revealing the problem(s) with eating or non-eating has begun the healing process.
For the duration of this article, the identified person with the alleged eating disorder will be named, the "loved one".
Getting Started - About a Loving Intervention
It is important to reveal solid information. Keeping a log without being obvious about the eating patterns witnessed is important. Factual information is pertinent. It would also be most helpful to enlist the guidance of a trained, qualified professional before going forward.
Emotionally and psychologically be prepared. The information presented may not be received well. It is important to remain calm and composed. It is important not to engage in conflict. The eating disorder defense mechanisms will want to deflect the information presented.
Stay with the facts, repetition may be necessary.
Confronting in a loving manner with a soft tone of voice reduces the rigidity of the defense system. The goal is to present reality to the loved one, motivating the loved one to seek professional help.
The Setting and Planning Process
This event takes planning. Should an emergency arise during the process, beforehand, seek a trusted relative or friend to handle the crises. Ask not to be disturbed unless absolutely necessary.
Due to the personal information that will be presented, this is not an encounter that should be conducted within a coffee shop or restaurant or other public place. The room should be quiet, with minimal risks of interference. Any intrusive communication devices such as cell phones should be turned off. The loved one's defense mechanisms will, because of the nature of the issue (as previously mentioned), try to deflect information. Outside interferences will only work against the presenter(s).
Also know that the loved one, especially if he or she is suffering from anorexia nervosa, may attempt to pit one presenter against another. This is the nature of the eating disorder. Ignore it, don't buy into it. Move on.
The Presenter(s)
Certainly more than one person may present information, but too many people participating can backfire as the loved one may feel as though he or she is being bullied. Only those closest to the loved one who have first hand pertinent information should be present.
Each presenter should take a turn speaking to the loved one or one person may present the information. Run a practice session. Presenters need to plan how they will proceed ahead of time and should be compliant enough to not engage in conflict amongst themselves during the process. Any concerns amongst the presenters should be smoothed over beforehand. Again, loving ambiance and vocal tone is critical. This must be done with non-judgmental love and concern.
Entering the setting with papers would immediately put the loved one on guard. Prepare what will be said ahead of time. Memorize or know the information well, so that it will flow. Again, be prepared for deflections - stick with the facts.
For the best outcome, enlist the guidance of a trained professional.
Note to the reader: The information contained within this article is not designed or intended to treat or diagnose any condition.
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