It is unrealistic to think there are perfect families. However, whatever the health of a family is, there are rigorous regimens available to improve the condition.
The healthier the family system, it would logically follow there will be a lower risk of someone developing an eating disorder or some other serious condition such as drug or alcohol addiction. The healthier the family system, it would also logically follow the rates of abuse and neglect as well as numerous other troubling conditions would fall.
Overnight results are unrealistic. However, to get from point A to point B a beginning is necessary. If buying groceries is the errand of the day, leaving the house is the first step bracketed with:
keeping one's eyes on the goal;
consistently moving forward; and
not giving up, even if a tire blows out.
Immediate Plan for Improvement
Commitment to the task (even if the road is long and arduous): The Olympics for 2008 have ended. Many people returned to their countries with medals. Even those who did not win medals, won the opportunity to represent their countries in all of those amazing athletic events. How? Commitment and purpose. Commitment and training. Commitment and work. Practice. Practice. Practice.
Parents take leadership roles to heart: Parents are the greatest, consistent role models their children could possibly have as teachers. Let parental messages, not the erroneous messages of the world, raise the children.
Parents become a team: Support and encourage one another, even when someone falls. Create time for the family to be together. Open the avenues of communication. Create a nourishing environment for the children. Allow them to explore their own potential. Accept and support the children even when they fall.
Create a place of refuge: The world has a way of beating people up at times. Just turn on the television and listen to the number of negative messages. Everyone needs a safe place. Respect each member of the family. Don't rip each other apart with harsh words. Children are especially vulnerable when parents hurt one another either verbally, emotionally, mentally or physically. Hold up! When children witness attacks, what are they learning?
Take time for celebrations: Acknowledge the accomplishments of each family individual as well as those of the family as a whole. Create meaningful, happy customs which can help serve as strong family girders for continued growth.
Don't run from crises: Even in the best of families, there will come a time when something unfortunate will happen. Be prepared. Have faith in the family's ability to weather the calamity triumphantly. A positive outlook from parents will be observed by the children giving them hope, even if the future may be uncertain.
Who said parenting would be easy? Who said leading a family would be a cake-walk? Whatever the family condition, there is help available.
Source
Dr. Phil McGraw, Family First, FREE PRESS, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY., 2004., pgs. 30-63.
Note to the reader: the material contained is not designed to diagnose or treat a condition.
The copyright of the article Building Blocks to a Functional Family in Eating Disorders is owned by Jeannie Delahunt. Permission to republish Building Blocks to a Functional Family in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
