Characteristics of a Functional Family

Solid Parenting Promotes Healthy Families and Family Members

Oct 9, 2008

Families are systems. Picture the insides of a clock. When the gears are working as they should they are functional. The same holds true for families.

There are functional families. What do they look like? How are they different from dysfunctional families?

Tone of the Family Unit

Every family encounters problems that will upset the equilibrium of the family unit. The equilibrium within a dysfunctional family is consistently unstable.

Momentarily, the functional family may have to cope with stressors and anxiety. However, within the functional family system there is an overall sense of love, happiness and peace that permeates the unit. Members enjoy their family--almost as if there was a felt presence of sunshine, consistent sunshine despite adversities.

Parental Roles and Responsibilities

Parents within functional families take active roles nourishing and leading the family unit. They are not casual participants. There is no reversal of roles. The child does not become the parent and vice versa.

Parents teach their children what they need to learn and parents learn from one another as well as support one another. They encourage intimacy and communication. Parents seeks to grow with each other. They are the role models of their family and take their positions seriously.

Parents are aware of how their behaviors impact their children and the family unit as a whole. They choose paths that will strengthen and not tear down the family unit to the best of their abilities.

Issues are discussed in frequent family forums. Family relationships are valued. Parents promote respect and honor for each individual.

Time to Play

When parents make time to play with their children as well as with one another, the messages sent build self-esteem and promote self-worth. Playing games, participating in family recreation says, "I love you. You are so important to me that I am willing and look forward to spending time with you." Play and recreation allows the family to celebrate one another.

Meeting Family Needs

Adults and children have needs. Within the functional family system the needs of each individual are met to the best of the family's ability. There is little criticism, if any, and the atmosphere for the most part is non-judgmental. Spontaneity is encouraged. The uniqueness of each individual, her gifts and talents are recognized and promoted. The family is able to negotiate for change, especially when the family rules are at the core of the negotiations.

Members within the family system do not feel isolated from one another or from the family as a whole. A sense of connectedness extends between the immediate and sometimes extended family members.

Members are not smothered, either. Parents are not overly protective of their children--children are allowed to branch out as their maturity dictates.

Times for Celebration

Functional families celebrate the milestones and accomplishments of their members. No one is forgotten. Significant events in the lives of each individual as well as the family system are not undermined or forgotten.

Sources

John Bradshaw, THD, MSP, MA., "Bradshaw on the Family", thewellspring.com, no date, written for a website.

James D. MacArthur, Ph.D., "The Functional Family," american-heritage.org,10/14/05.

The copyright of the article Characteristics of a Functional Family in Eating Disorders is owned by Jeannie Delahunt. Permission to republish Characteristics of a Functional Family in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Dec 1, 2008 5:09 PM

Guest :

I believe this article was very educational and informative it sure answered the questions that i was concerned thanks